So this is new thing to try. That basically, for now, if I answer emails, I probably will here. And without saying anything about you except a fake name and the time you emailed, and not actually repeating what you said. So no-one will know it’s you, and it’s private for you, is the idea. And I’ll be careful. And I hope this doesn’t seem too completely weird. Because it is pretty weird, really.
But less weird than just ignoring people’s emails, I hope.
For which I’m really sorry!
And I’m also really sorry this whole talking thing has got so complicated and out of hand. And yes, I know it has. And I’m really sorry about that too. But basically, there’s some stuff it feels weird answering because a bit intense or whatever, and there’s other stuff it feels unfair to answer if other people are being ignored, if that makes sense, like unfair to them instead of you. And also, there’s some things I can’t answer or talk about because taken and partner and desperately happy together and so rules. Like about exactly what peoples on the internets can be talked to about, and how. So all of that.
It’s complicated, is all. And I’m completely sorry. And also, I’m probably way too much fuss to bother about talking to, so really just go and read stories instead and don’t bother. Seriously!
But if you really want to, then I think maybe we try this. Because after lots of thinky, and, well, complicated sighy angst, and also obviously some checking with partner, this feels better.
So if you want to email and ask stuff, or whatever, please do and I’ll try and answer here. Maybe. If I answer. So not saying everything gets answered, like, still all the very complicated complications and weird from before! But it seems like this might make it more likely I do, because it’s in public so answering doesn’t seem as sinister and complicated. Like on Wattpad and Twitter. So no, I can’t really explain, it just seems better this way, and so it seems like this might work, so trying!
And thank you for your patience with me, and I am really sorry I’m so high-maintenance and how strange this is starting to get.
[Updatey: um, so another thing. Like just in case it isn’t obvious there’s comfort level stuff for partner about who I talk to and what about and we’re still working this out. So that’s why some of the inconsistency with answers too. And of course, um, me being total moodswing insecure batshit doesn’t help either. That as well haha.]
And also, I’m trying to work out some way to do this so there’s the possiblity of email updates when this page is updated or whatever, but I haven’t yet… so I hope this is okay for now? Sorry x
oh wait, also, I just realized all these times are my time… so Australian Eastern… so for finding yours, maybe look at the minutes, or, um… yeah I don’t actually know. But its the time for me, not the time you sent it sorry!
“Megan”, June 14, 2015 at 12:44 pm
thank you :)
“David Writer”, May 26, 2015 at 9:50 pm
oh thank you! that’s kind! but um, i really don’t think i know any huge secrets of bestseller success haha… um, luck? really? lots of luck?
i mean, i could try and write a blog post about businessy and marketing stuff if you like, if that’s any use… i keep meaning to, but it doesn’t really seem like i have much useful to say, but i can try if you want, just since there’s another conversation sort of like this going on too…
but honestly, i don’t really know anything useful, i’m just making it up as i go!
A couple more from Ivan Mazlow, and I shall hide the dates cause I am rude and took ages to answer!
oh never mind the other people reading this and their weird ideas about what this conversation is about, i mean, can’t people innocently discuss cannibalism without it seeming weird… oh wait, um… yes, actually i do see what you mean :)
also, thank you!
also, sorry this took ages to answer, and i hope you didn’t think it was because what it’s about… i just had several things at once and didn’t for ages was all, so i’m really rude but sorry too… um, that’s all with that really… just to say.
also, um, yes, i shouldn’t judge. i know. how awful of me. but i’m also not meeting you in a resturant “for dinner” ever. because i saw the simpsons and i know about that… you’re not tricking me! ha!
also, for everyone else, and kind of pre-emptively, Ivan Mazlow would probably like it mentioned they are not as twisted and evil as reading my half of may be making them sound :) and i know this because they said so. ha!
also, i think maybe i could stop all emails entirely by changing the email page to say i only want to talk about cannibalism… hmmm…
Ivan Mazlow, May 17, 2015 at 2:43 am
omg dude, haha, that was actually an extremely weird sentence just to open the email and see… like in a good and laughy way!
and um, okay, i see how you mean about vampires! apparently i’m a narrow-minded bigot then for laughing… um, sorry?
of course… i always though the reason to not do cannibalism was more practical than because taboos… like if everyone starts doing it then eventually you end up being the one lying there asleep when someone else comes home feeling like a snack… like, its just safer not to! although that’s all boringly real-world and nothing really to do with kink, i suppose :)
oh wait, is actually saying that so calmly bad…? i’m just reading over that last bit thinking it kind of says “oh yeah, cannibalism whatev, no big deal, i mean, i wouldn’t cause how then someone would eat me, but that’s really the only reason….” which is kind of, um…
Ivan Mazlow again, May 14, 2015 at 1:41 am
thank you haha! and um… fairy tales and abductions and stuff… um, maybe, i’ll have a think and maybe try! and yes cannibalism… but dude, wtf?!? did you just say cannibalism was hot!!!
Ivan Mazlow, May 11, 2015 at 1:39 am
thank you :) and yes, i remember! and the very convenient thing about this whole weirdo page thing is actually is i can go down and check haha! but yay, i’m glad you liked and thank you!
“D” on April 15, 2015 at 6:18 pm
thank you! for the anonymous appreciation! i’m glad you like!
and also thank you heaps for the broken linky telling-me thing… and yep, now its fixed! so thank you for saying!
“M”, who I hope is James Bond’s boss but probably isn’t… sigh… on April 6, 2015 at 3:10 pm
thank you, and i’m really glad, like especially about the control in writing and the particular thing you mention, because actually, tbh, i don’t know what i’m doing, and am just writing, as in no courses or anything especially, so… um, its actually really, really good to know it seems okay from someone who knows is all… like that i’m not just looking silly or whatever… so um, thank you heaps!
Two other people from Literotica too, cause I got lazy and nothing especial needed saying cept thank yous… so….
“Sandy”, March 25, 2015 at 12:26 pm
thank you heaps that’s really sweet :) and thank you for the thought but i’m sorry but i’d better not right now…
Dave and Sally, March 21, 2015 at 7:10 am
thank you both and i’m really glad you like :)
“Fake Name”, March 13, 2015 at 2:08 am
which is actually a pretty clever fake name…
um, thank you heaps, i’m really glad, although i’m sorry about the sleep! like i actually really am because i get insomnia so um… sorry? and also for the the email page… like it is totally too much but it just kept gettign bigger and bigger so sorry! but also thank you!
Deo, March 12, 2015 at 7:01 pm
thank you heaps, and sorry to disappear, but thank you very very lots for coming and saying, that was really kind, and really thoughtful and nice of you :)
RJ, on March 2, 2015 at 8:32 am
oh thank you! although, um, its actually an older one… but thank you!
and literotica, i’m trying to put most of things up there, just slowly, like without annoying the moderator :)
Truth the spandex superhero, on February 27, 2015 at 4:40 pm
thank you! and um, sequel, yep i will but i need to finish other stuff first is all… so it might be a bit…
and shadowrun, omg, i googled and wow, um, that looks cool… like i never did paper rpgs but i would totally try and do fanfic in that world! because corporate hacker espionage with magic after dystopia where the ceo is a freaking dragon!!! that’s just wonderful!
but for inspirations, dcw was more futile bleak ongoing wars but with tech everywhere because the future… and islands, idk, that just kind of happened… like i really don’t know except trying to do fantasy in this world not another one… like i’m not sure i believe in tolkeiny alternate earths enough to do it… if that makes sense?
but quasi cyber punk i like, that’s a good way to put it!
Jac, which i hope is okay to use, February 22, 2015 at 9:24 am
oh thank you! and thats really flattering, like the reading all night! so yay i’m glad! and no worries, and i will!
so just, um, thank you heaps :)
Wes [which I think is fake so am using it here], February 18, 2015 at 3:21 am
thank you, i’m glad you like! and also, um, say if the name isn’t fake and you want it changed by the way :) and also, the thing you specifically mentioned you read, weirdly, is the same thing as someone underneath here asked about a while ago, so that’s interesting i thought, that there’s two people into that, like when i don’t write it… maybe? anyways, thank you!
“Truth” [who really ought to be a superhero or something with a name like that] on February 17, 2015 at 5:01 pm
oh thank you! i’m really glad you liked, especially suburbia cause that was like the first ever non-smut one… um, ish non-smut… :) and same debt collectors war, because it was tryign something new so yay it worked!
and um… yes…. in hindsight i really should have thought about pen names more… i just kind of started putting everything on wattpad was all, like as i write, and it actually makes me keep going so its good, but also, um… its kind of way too lateto fix that now!
and honestly… sometimes lusthurts shocks me too… like going back the next day and going omg i just said that to the whole internet… like i’m getting used to it, i think, and doing it each time kind of helps with the next, but still… sometimes its just kind of alarming so i get completely :)
More Literotica people who I rudely ignored
whom i did? maybe? I don’t know…
anyways, sorry, I just wasn’t for a bit, but never mind! Um, thank you was all really :)
“Truth” again, on February 2, 2015 at 2:54 pm
hey dude, sorry i took ages to answer… my bad and i’m sorry its been days. and yay that there wasn’t a question! i just wasn’t sure whether all the batshit on the email page might have made you not ask :) so that’s good!
um, i might carefully not ask about the response if that’s okay! but i’m glad you liked :)
and with the rest, i’m really glad you like too, and i’m really, really glad of the real bit about the “sharing” ones, because yes, that’s kind of how those are meant to be… like actual people not make-believe… i mean, at least mostly… so thank you heaps for getting that! and thank you on the blog too :)
Literotica people, February 1, 2015 at 9:28 pm and February 4, 2015 at 3:31 pm
thank you both :)
“Truth” on January 30, 2015 at 11:07 am
oh thank you heaps… that’s really kind! and i will! and thank you because its good to know its worth it or working or whatever!
and also, um, please don’t worry too much about the stress, because really i just need to grow up and deal. basically. and also, if and when i can’t, i’ll just stop answering for a bit… which i hope people will get why, so if they do then that’s okay too, like as long as i can… so sigh, anyways, probably not making sense because quite late here. so anyways, um, yes, to be honest it’d probably be less weird if this was all old-timey and i never heard… :) but then again, i think i’m getting used to it, and people saying isn’t bad, its just different, really… and i am really glad people like stuff, and it is good to know, so that’s all really mixed up too… so um, anyway, this is just more saying thank you for understanding about that because yep it does make everything far more complicated, but its good to hear too… like as long as people get how i might just ignore them…? so anyways. blah.
um, also thank you too for the second bit too, because weirdly the whole “i’m not into what they did but i like the story anyway” thing, that’s really kind of a huge compliement… so thank you!
anyways, was there something you wanted to ask… i just wondered from how it ended? but never mind if not :)
and thank you! sorry i’m really tired so this might not be as coherent as it could be…
Someone from Literotica about Fresh Air, January 27, 2015 at 12:47 am
thank you heaps, and i’m glad to be!
Ivan Mazlow, January 24, 2015 at 8:45 am
oh no worries, i just thought maybe there was something! um, i started writing down a thing about this, though, like trying to be more specific, so i’ll try and finish it and put it up.
also, kind of weirdly, the older spanking guy one… that’s actually true… so, um… maybe i wasn’t saying about him right? i’m not sure. but it always felt more like patience or calm or him letting me be me, rather than it was passiveness… and that was why stuff happened after the first time? but if he comes across differnetly, its probably more i didn’t explain it right, or because writing true stuff is a bit funny because less talking, if that makes sense, like i can’t remember and need to be careful abotu saying too much. and i’m still working out how, like i only have been for a few months. so anyways, yep, i get how he’s kind of not really there as a person, is all. its sort of like i’m havign to mumble a bit :)
and thank you about the others!
Will from Literotica, January 23, 2015 at 12:02 pm
no worries and thank you! um, with comments, i’m really sorry, but i need to get way, way more used to everything there before i do… like it seems kind of ferocious there sometimes, is all, and really don’t deal with criticism well about writing well anyway, so honestly, i’d basically panic and cry and take everything down the first time someone said something mean or creepy or thoughtless. its far better for me not to see what people say, is all…
also with some of the stuff i write about, like the personal stuff, it can kind of feel weird then talking to people about it…
um, the erotic compulsion thing is interesting though… as in, i’d never thought, but i think maybe you’re right… like it turns up in other stories too, not just those, the sort of helplessly losing control in the face of it, that kind of thing. and i think i feel like sex is way more out of control and wild and all-consuming than a lot of people seem to think it is, if that fits with how you mean?
so anyways, thank you heaps, and i’m sorry about the comments but it really would mess with me if i did, is all.
Tom from Literotica, January 22, 2015 at 8:36 am
um, thank you, that’s kind and i do appreciate you saying… but, um, the rest… i just kind of write what i write… and i do get you mean well, and i’m really sorry i’m weird, but um… like i’m really sorry but just, what i do isn’t going to change and it just makes me get weirded and insecure if you go pointing things out… but thank you for the nice bit…
“Joe Fake”, January 22, 2015 at 3:59 am
thank you! and yep, i can see how that would be haha :)
Ivan Mazlow again, January 21, 2015 at 11:55 am
hey again dude… thank you! but… um… cassie is actually way older, like a year maybe…? so i’m not sure if that changes the pattern you were seeing….? i’m sorry :) and sorry, too, because literotica is in kind of a random jumble, so the newest thing there is the one about running in sydney…. so anyways, um, sorry? but still thank you heaps!
and with what you asked, like masochism and submissiveness and power exchange… so um, i would answer, but i kind of don’t know…. like i know this is weird but i’m terribly ignorant of bdsmy theory stuff…. so really only for talking about doing things, which is kind of specific, and what’s on some of the other people around here’s blogs… so anyways, now you say, i’m not actually sure i properly know what the differences are…. like i thought being a sub and a masochist was mostly the same…? so i wondered, like if it isn’t a nuisance, and if you happened to know of anywhere i could read something that might explain, like a website, then could you maybe send a link? just if that isn’t a bother? and then i’ll answer haha!
and yes i know google but i just did and way too much, so this is asking for reccomendations i guess :)
And another Literotica person (who isn’t a Bill), on January 20, 2015 at 11:27 am
thank you also! that’s really kind and i’m glad! yay!
“Bill – – one of 3,575,914 in the US” (formerly known as “to boring to be fake”), on January 20, 2015 at 8:02 am
thank you! haha :) again!
and um… not to argue, but there might be two of you… unless it absolutely was you saying you were from literotica too, at that time? yesterday? i mean, it doesn’t really matter and i don’t know, obviously, but just you didn’t sound sure, so he might be a different one, because no email addy and a different ip to you? and i kind of like the idea that everyone on the internet is a bill… but maybe it was you in disguise! who knows! but thank you for saying nice stuff again, anyways!
and also, for everyone else, apparently i was wrong about the donkey and horse thing, if anyone remembers that, so now i am corrected! ha! and i think i shall quote now, due to earlier permissions being given… “its all about donkey size and horse volume.” cause i just thought that was funny! so… um, well!
Bill from Literotica [a different one, I guess], January 19, 2015 at 2:15 am
thank you heaps, that’s very kind!
and also… what’s with all the Bills around here all of a sudden… its kind of wierd :)
“Bill (to boring to be fake) – – the reprise” [who is apparently trying to be witty now], January 16, 2015 at 7:04 am
um, physics and maths, yep, that’s probably right! and thank you heaps about the books, and thank you also about the cool, and omg you should so turn that into an actual story about kinky stars doing kinky stuff to each other, honest! i mean it! do!
but really thank you heaps and ok going away now.
“Bill (to boring to be fake)” – which is a fabulous fake name!, January 15, 2015 at 8:22 am
oh thank you, that’s really kind! and i really like “ just the right mixture of class and dirty“… like i know i said i wouldn’t quote so i hope this is okay, and i can take this bit out if you do mind, so just say… but i actually really, really like that! so thank you! and also, um, thank you for the rest!
and um, i’m actualy not sure where i said cosmic entropy now, but yay! and i know what a sophie germaine prime is too omg! and i can prove the square root of two is irrational without using string! and i used it in a dirty novel!
um, but anyways, that got a little excitable so really it was just, um, thank you!
Topic Requests again
ok, i’ll try! although i probably won’t get it right :)
“Ivan Mazlow” again, January 14, 2015 at 6:39 pm
oh not stalkery, dont worry… um, doing it like this goes a long way to not-stalkery if you see what i mean so thank you :) and um, please mention if you’d like, no problems! and thank you heaps again, you’re way to kind, and sorry i kept you up haha!
“Ivan Mazlow”, January 13, 2015 at 7:09 pm
hey dude, and thank you for all of that… like really thank you, especially for the nice stuff! and crumpling up emails is kind of sweet too haha! and please don’t jump off stuff, i won’t stop, i promise!
um, anyways, i mostly just wanted to say thank you, and i might answer more too but it might be a while… like this was just to say thank you and don’t think i won’t or something. because i’m still working this out as all, so yep. but maybe more a blog post like taking back to everyone? is that ok? just i think we’re still sorting out the talking in public vs private part here is all.
anyways thank you heaps for being encouraging and i’ll go away now :)
Someone about topic requests, January 13, 2015 at 3:22 pm
um, yep… like i can try… so basically maybe, and i dont know, but if you don’t mind waiting a bit :) um, what was it?
Someone about broken links from lusthurts, January 13, 2015 at 5:05 am
oh thank you for saying… but um, i couldn’t find the bad link? like the one on lusthurts.com/about seemed fine? so thank you and this is why if it doesn’t seem to get fixed!
Someone from Germany, saying about Zoe, at January 9, 2015 at 2:09 am
thank you heaps, and i hope so too, and i really appreciate you taking the time to say, so thank you!
“Does it Matter?” at January 8, 2015 at 7:54 pm
thank you for the offer, and you’re probably right, but i’m really sorry, i just can’t talk to people like that. even just talking. i’m sorry! and i get how literotica has a different kind of culture or whatever, but relationship stuff and rules so just can’t. but also, really really sorry again because you seem sweet.
Someone at January 6, 2015 at 8:22 am
thank you :) and um, yes.
Oh, and say if you want your answer taken down after you read it! And thank you for letting me do it this way! x