What They Look Like

I’m quite vague on purpose about what characters look like in stories.  There’s a rant elsewhere about this, and not wanting to second-guess what you’re imagining.

However someone out there might be curious about what I’m actually imagining.

I should do a quick spoiler thing here.  You might not want to know.  It might spoil the fun for you.  Ruin the picture in your head and shit.  People get quite worked up about pubes, or the lack thereof.

You’re really sure you want to do this?

Okay then.

Um, I don’t really picture any of the characters in my head when I’m writing.  Sorry.  I’m not sure if that’s weird.

I do have a vague idea of what they all look like though, so I can tell you that.  Unless it’s really obvious from something else, I tend to assume everyone is around 30, that all the men are cut just enough not to look like roid-freaks at the gym, that everyone is shaved everywhere, especially the guys, that the men are slightly hotter than the woman, and have dark hair, and are probably a bit tanned even though they should be covering up and worrying about skin damage.  Dark and tanned in brooding kind of way.

So yeah, did that just wreck your Erik Northman blondey fantasy?  See what I mean.

The women are dark-haired, notwithstanding the cover of One Plus One Minus Two, which doesn’t count because I just liked the photo.  Everyone has small tits, and the men like them anyway, so there and I don’t care what you think.  I have no opinion on circumcision either way.

No man wears underwear in any of my stories.  I just decided that right now, but this is now official canon.  All men are commando.  This is implied in the stories anyway, when you think of how easily cocks are removed from trousers, and the lack of fumbling around with elastic and him wincing when you ping his waistband down on his balls, and that’s why.  Commando all the way, and if sometimes they need to jump in a swimming pool naked, then so be it.


Having said all that, I really don’t want to ruin this for other people by getting too specific, so this is just what I imagine, in case you are interested.  Please, please feel free to imagine everyone in any way you wish.  Size whatever, hung like anything between a mouse and a donkey, and as hot or unhot as you want.  I’d like you to, I really would.  That’s why I wasn’t clear in the first place.

Fun fact.  Did you know the line about cocks like horses and emissions like donkeys is really in the bible.  And I thought my writing about prostitution for fun was smutty.  That’s just…  well shit.

And yes, I probably did just offend someone by linking from here to there.  Sorry.

While I think of it, there’s also names.

All the names are a bit WASPy.  That’s mainly because I’m in Australia, and our names are different (more Kylies and Tammys, less Madisons and Dakotas) so I’m guessing a bit about what normal names are elsewhere.  And working from a list of the most common names in the US I found on the web. Seriously.

Don’t read too much into them.  Pretend Mike is short for Miguel or Jan is a dude from Holland, or whatever else, if that helps.

I don’t actually think a lot about the names, to be honest.  I tend to use easy to type names in drafts, then pick a real name right before I finish. So that’s interesting, not.  Amy is very common.  Pretty much every female character starts as Amy.  Tim, Tom, and Will are usual for the men.  For some reason I keep ending up needing more guy names than girl names.  Hmm.

I do think properly about the names before I pick one, because they might clash with the character, but only after I know who the character is.

There you go, an insight into the creative process and shit.